spoken from the heart: A letter to my Papa

Today you would have been 75 years old. Because of that ugly C-word, you're up in heaven now. I know you're in a better place but for my own selfish reasons, I wish you were still here♥

Things you might not know:

Whenever I pull up to mom and dad’s house, I look across the street and I feel a little sting in my chest knowing you're not there anymore. I look at the big green house and so many memories flash through my head. Being a little girl, getting up early with Kalee, making sure we got our chores done as quick as possible (or trying to get out of them haha) so we could run across the street and have eggs and radishes for breakfast with you and grandma. ♥ Getting out of chores... That's another memory. I can't even count how many times your phone would ring and it would be dad saying "Send Megan back home! She hasn't finished her chores" haha ♥ Sitting in your family room watching the old cartoons on that box tv. Mickey Mouse in black and white. Fievel goes west (my favorite), Tom & Jerry and so many others ♥ Going to church with you and Grandma on Sunday mornings when we didn't go with mom and dad ♥ Running across the street and hopping in the van to go run flower deliveries with you and Grandma ♥ That one time when it was time for me to go home, you walked me to the edge of the street and I said "I know I am supposed to look both ways before I cross the street. Grandma and my parents tell me that." You said, "Yes, but it is just as important to listen with your ears too. Can you hear any cars?" Now, still to this day, when I cross that street, I think about that time with you. Simple but for whatever reason, meaningful enough to forever stick in my memory ♥ My FAVORITE memory, the time you gave me tickets to the Portland Trail Blazers basketball game for Christmas. I will always remember pilling into that van with all the uncles and some cousins, and driving up to Portland. I felt like such a big kid. I of course loved basketball and the Blazers were my favorite, mostly because they were your favorite. I'll never forget sitting in those stands, looking down on that court, watching those boys play my favorite sport while sitting next to my Papa. They lost that night but the memory to me, is still worth more than anything in this world ♥ That one time I drove with you to Klamath falls for a delivery you had to make and to see Jenae and Josh when they lived over there ♥ Holding your hand while sitting next to your bed in your last few days with us ♥

I think about you all the time Papa, and every time I cross a milestone in my life, knowing you're gone hurts that much more. I got married last summer to the love of my life and I never thought once in my life, that it wouldn't be you to marry me. We did use part of your marriage sermon from mom and dad’s wedding in ours though. Your picture was on the alter table as we said "I do" and Grandma cut a heart out of one of your old blue shirts and we sewed it to the outside of my dress right on my heart. I am graduating college in 3 months and I always thought you would be there to see that. My one year wedding anniversary is 9 days after I graduate. Mom and dad have their 25th wedding anniversary in 5 days from today. You did a great job setting them up for success in a marriage and teaching them the importance of keeping God the center of a marriage. Thanks to you and many others, they have done a wonderful job teaching that same thing & being an example to Jesse and I as we start out our journey of marriage ♥ Jesse and I now live in Washington, only a couple miles from where you and Grandma lived when you were next to Hall lake in Lynnwood. It's fun when I am driving around to think that what I am looking at is what you used to look at when you were up here; though I'm sure it has changed a ton! It makes me feel a little more content living up here so far from our family. While it hurts knowing you are not physically here with us anymore, you are always in my heart! Have so much fun celebrating and eating that chocolate german cake with all our other loved ones up there with you!

Happy Birthday in heaven Papa♥
March 11th, 1941- August 13th, 2012